The Great Global Holiday Festival-My Solution For Repairing The Economy, Restoring World Peace And Curing Dandruff

There is a period of time in the fall and winter (Northern Hemisphere) that is occupied primarily with the preparation for and the "celebration" of certain events and holidays. This begins approximately October 15 with the promotion of candy and costumes for Halloween and continues until February 15 when guys are trying to make up for not treating Valentine's Day exactly like their partners expected.

I propose designating this four month period as the Great Global Holiday Festival. All nations would sign a treaty observing this period and agreeing not to wage war or prepare for waging war and Walmart, Target and Hallmark would agree to sell cheap, tacky shit for each event occuring during that time. This would encompass most of the world's major holidays with the notable exceptions of the 4th of July, Purim, Ramadan and European summer holiday.

During this time, we have Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Bodhi, Diwali, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, Saturnalia, Hanukkah, New Year's Eve, Super Bowl, Ground Hog Day, Valentine's Day and the Prophet Mohammed's birthday, among others. Recognizing this as a time period of celebration rather than concentrating on individual events would make it more efficient. For example, you could just send GGHF cards to everybody and cover a multitude of events.

To help you get in the mood for part of this celebration, I offer the greatest redneck Christmas song ever made for your enjoyment. If you have ever spent Christmas with anybody else, you will probably recognize someone in this video:

I think you see the wisdom of my proposal.
Peace. Out.

Beyonce, Cat In Boxes and Loyal Dogs. Really, What Else Is There?

A potpourri of stuff for your weekend consideration. A new commercial by Beyonce for a perfume she is promoting and the commercial is smokin'. So smokin' that some people will not permit you to see it on some of your glowing rectangles. As a public service, this blog rectifies that injustice, right now.



Then there is the cute quotient. A cat that wants to get in every box it sees. This cat could end up being somewhere else overnight. If it fits, it ships.



Then there is this collection of loyal dog stories. I swore I wasn't going to cry.
I lied.

Peace. Out.

You Shoot Just Like A Girl!

Oh, that it were so. Look at this supposedly unaltered video and know that you will never be this good, at anything.

Rules To Live By - Animated Version

I imparted 5 rules to live by in a previous post. These important axioms have now been animated (see here) for the hard of reading.

Peace. Out.

I Knew There Was A Medical Reason For This "Shrinkage".

Now I know. I have koro. I must have contracted it a couple of years ago when I was in India. That obviously explains my short comings. Otherwise, I would surely be in John Holmes territory. This article describes that there was an outbreak of this disease in a labor camp where men suffering from this condition sat for extended periods in ice water. The best part of the article is where police were called to the camp at 1 a.m. I would love to hear the dispatcher telling the police to investigate. I wonder what the police code is for an outbreak of short wee-wees. I'm not sure what the cause of this affliction is, but I'm pretty sure that sitting in cold water will not cure it. At least, that never helped me nor George Costanza.

Peace. Out.

Acting Like You Know What You Are Doing Is Better Than Knowing What You Are Doing.

Doctors learn this in med school and lawyers learn it after having their ass handed to them several times and that is, if you look confident and say things like you know what you are talking about, people will let you get away with a lot of things. A middle school football team takes this to the extreme and befuddles the defense with a trick play based on acting confidently.

Mack Brown, thinking like this might save your job.
Peace. Out.